UKTerrorist

Ask Mango

Posted by Mango at 17:01, 14/3/2003

Ask Mango

Q: I can normally get a few frags, but the amount of deaths i suffer ruins my ratio, any tips?
A: Well the idea is to have 100 heath at all times, if you have 100 heath then you won't die, simple really...nub.

Q:I am new to CS and i want a good name, what should i bear in mind when choosing a good name?
A:You need to choose one that will make ppl fear you, like UBERkiller or FragMasta, also it's a good idea to add loads of numbers in there aswell to make you look as leet, somthing like RapeR224gdb0y that will make you look like a badass mofo, a general rule of thumb is the more numbers in your 'handle' the leeter you look.

Q:What is the best res to play CS in?
A:well i use 124x78 cos it makes the heads REALLY big like a balloon, so i can make HS's every time.

Q:What is the correct technique for AK, burst or tap?
A:the CORRECT way is to aim at their groin then spray for 24 bullets, whilst moving the crosshair in a circular pattern, this will ensure that all bullets go to the head.

Q:What are the best mouse settings?
A:You should have acceleration on MAX and a sensitivity of 19.60000, this will let you do 360's by moving the mouse 1 micron, with this you can move the mouse SO fast that you can shoot everything at the same time, letting you get scores like mine 5534-1 (the 1 death i had i lagged, and the phone rang and got 300 emails from sexeh b***hes)

Q:How can i be leet like HeatoN?
A:well tbh HeatoN is a n00b so you don't wanna be like him, you wanna be like me. anyways he cheats BIG TIME, OGC special is HeatoN. So the secret really is h4x, all the leet players use em, except me cos i roxx.

Q:How can i get into a good clan?
A:First off you should go into their IRC channel and act like you know CS inside out and have played all the way from beta 1 and that you are the leetest mofo going and the only reason you didn't go to the CPL is because it's for n00bs, check this IRC transcript of how to do it properly:

Mango^: has joined #leetclan0rz
Mango^: Lo all
LeetKillaz: Hi Mango
2hOt4j00: Hi mango
Mango^: Ok b***hes let me in your clan NOW!
LeetKillaz: omg...it's MANGO!!!
2hOt4j00: omg..he's f***ing leet
Mango^: I played CS from beta 1, and i did beta testing for it
2hOt4j00: cool man, you must be the best!
Mango^: you know it slut, neway i'm so f***ing leet, i played against sk.swe, it was me vs all of them and i nailed them all, with total HS's and no deaths!
Leetkillaz: wow man, erm..this may sound funneh...but can i be you?
Mango^: Get back fan boy, there's only enough leetness in this world for me biatch.
2hOt4j00: Leetkillaz: we gotta hook this d00d up.
Mango^: i woulda recorded a demo but sk.swe somehow hacked my box and deleted it cos they wer jeleaous of my m4d 5killz.
Leetkillaz: wanna join the clan? plz plz plz say yes
Mango^: get back, your clan sux you bunch of nubs.
Mango^ has left #leetclan0rz

As you can see i totally 0wned them, you can try this too, but just make sure you have h4x to back-up your words.

Q:Should i buy armour or a good gun?
A:Well for a start armour is for p***ies only nubs like HeatoN use armour, and anyway you should learn to use the knife at all times, all the leet ppl know it's the best gun.

Q:Any tips for a few easy kills Mango?
A:what you should do is at the beggining of the round type 'AFK come kill me' then when the whole enemy team with automatically race each other for one afk kill, when they are close throw a flashbang and knife them all in the face when they are blind, everyone will love you for this and think you are supa-leet.

Now go away you goddamn nublet, go on...GET OUT!
Plz send your question to Mango...with a tenner.